This is the ‘Win with Stories’ newsletter. It’s focused on helping founders, entrepreneurs and business owners. Every week I send an email with a business or life message wrapped in a short story. I also share one actionable tip to help you enhance your business storytelling skills.
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How to do your best work while building great relationships.
‘That makes you sound stupid.’
This is what Kim Scott’s boss told her after what seemed like a successful meeting with the super-bosses.
Kim had joined Google as the lead for the Adsense team, and was about to make a presentation to the CEO and founders along with her boss.
Understandably, she was nervous.
But imagine this.
When she entered the room, the CEO was plugged deep into his email and one of the founders was working out wearing a super-tight spandex unitard(no kidding!).
She gathered herself somehow, and made the presentation.
The Adsense numbers were great, and the CEO wanted to know if Kim needed more marketing resources or engineers.
Understandably, Kim was happy while walking out of the room.
But her boss told her to walk back together to her desk.
Kim immediately knew something was amiss.
Her boss started by praising her for her efforts and what she had already accomplished.
Then she told her that she used ‘Umm…’ way too much as a filler.
Kim heaved a sigh of relief, and brushed it off it with her hand indicating it wasn’t a big deal.
But her boss persisted and asked her if she could connect her to a speech coach, and that she could have Google pay for the coaching.
Kim still didn’t take it seriously. She said she had way too much work with Adsense, and brushed off the suggestion again using her hand.
Then her boss said this and I paraphrase.
‘The way you are doing that thing with your hand tells me that I need to be more direct with you about this. Using ‘Umm’ as the every third word makes you look stupid.’
That’s how Kim her boss meant business.
But that also that she personally cared for her.
After seeking the speech coach’s help, Kim became a better communicator than ever.
She went on write books, give talks and also started running her own organisation Candour, Inc.
All this started with a boss telling her she sounded stupid, but for the right reasons 🙂
One communication tip for today:
This story was narrated by Kim Scott herself on the podcast ‘Think Fast, Talk Smart’. But why am I re-telling this story?
Apart from the fact that it is a great origin story for the book Kim wrote as a result called ‘Radical Candour’.
She realised that her boss possessed two qualities while dealing with her direct team-members.
- She cared personally
- and challenged directly.
I agree with Kim when she says that most effective leaders have these two traits in them. So this was my first takeaway from the podcast, that as leaders we need to truly care about the people who work with us.
But that does not mean that we hide their mistakes or give them the long rope.
It is important to challenge them and give them tasks, projects or actions that will contribute to their growth, even if it means that they get defensive or uncomfortable when you do so.
Kim also shares a broad outline for sharing effective feedback. Here’s how it looks:
- Set the ground for soliciting feedback: It is important that your team-member is ready to take feedback, so first ask if you can share some with them.
- Give praise: not for their personality, but for what your team-members do well. So they can do more of that,
- Share constructive points: Share your perspective on things they need to do less. Be careful not to critique someone’s personality itself.
I found these points and the podcast itself a good reminder of how to give and take feedback. If you’d like to learn more, check out the book ‘Radical Candour’ or tune into ‘Think Fast, Talk Smart’ podcast on Spotify or elsewhere.
That’s it from me today. Hope you found this newsletter useful 🙂
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